Fall / Fell / Fallen

People always leave.

Or am I pushing them away ? Either they suffocate or I'm not enought. Life is full of choice / I've never been able to pick one. Everytime I did I lost something...Though regrets are tearing me up, it's seems we can never go back.

By loosing you I lost myself. I wanna be everyone but me. I don't feel right when I'm lonesome. Save me from the nothing I've become. Hit me and wake me up from this nigthmare. Here I am, wishing it's one.

Please stay for a while.

My head goes up and down as you stagger. I'm getting nauseous. This fucking vicious circle. Once again. Stop being ambiguous. My headache never goes away. I wanna be so tired to sleep until tomorrow. Please take me in your arms while I dream.

But I can't stop thinking. It's so hard to accept who we are. Dumb for a year and free for a day. Always drawing the attention. Feeling stronger when you take my hand.

My fears are getting me. I wanna cry and keep my tears. Count them in a few years. See how many flowed because of me. I feel relieved when you wipe them slowly. So I promess I'll do my best. 'Cause without you I'm nothing more than me.

You're just like a pill,

Instead of making me better,

You keep making me ill.

.

When it's good then it's good, it's so good till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you got that you once had
I have heard myself cry never again
Broken down in agony just trying to find a friend.

I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over ?
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober ?

I stared at you while you were sleeping. The sun was shining through the shutters and lightening up your face [sausages?!] . You were so beautiful, calm, you were escaping the reality of life. And I was looking at you, listening to your breath, wishing for the time to stop so that I could stay forever in your arms. But we all know that forever doesn't last. And still, I will believe in those creepy fairy tales. 'Cause for an hour, you were my Sleeping Beauty.

You think some crazy things about me.

If only you could know me enough to know that I am just in love with you. My eyes shine when I see you. My heart loses his temper when you hug me. My head gets confused when you kiss me. My body goes out of his mind when you say you love me. If only you could see...

Once you said you knew you could spend your lifetime with me. 'Cause you know I'll always be there, no matter what it takes. 'Cause you know we can live together, we had since it started. I often let myself think that I gave you life, I gave my own and you left me fall.

 I don't know where this went [away?].

You want me to be nicer. You want me to be better. You want me to let you free. How can I do more? We haven't seen each other for a week and it sounds like a year to me. You might not know how it feels to see you on line and not talking to you, having you're number and not calling you, doing nothing and not seeing you. It hurts...

But I want your happiness so badly that I'm ready to suffer for your absence. I'm trying my best but still it's not enough. You said you're giving me a chance but will you wait for me? I'm afraid you won't. I don't want tomorrow to be last time.

I'm standing at a crossroad.

Some stories are not worthy. This one is...[mine]

I've been with a boy for one and a half year. I've been in love. We shouldn't lie, the past is passed. It ended 'cause I met another guy. Who gave up on me and himself. If I was able to leave the first, we can wonder:

Was it love?

I still didn't answer this question. But after that, I was lost. I think I've always been. And I met a girl in college, who had other sexual intentions for me. She told me about a pink sweet flavour. I wondered how it taste. I can't clearly remember how it felt when I finally descovered myself, when I finally met her.

But I spent the unforgivable night of my life.

With this girl, I was like a child for her first kiss, her first time. I was excited, lost, unexperienced...I put my cold hands in her sleeves, I caressed her soft skin. I was blushing. When my friend arrived, I sat next to her . We talked and got closer. Later,

She kissed me.

It felt like being high, even if we were already drunk. We spent the night with a lesbian and her slave, drinking and kissing. In the morning, she left. But I saw her the next day [...] and so on.

You might be disappointed, no sexe scene! cuuttt But I'm not here to tell you how it's better [kitchen]. I love her.